GF LRBM 2012 part 1

Assalamualaikum..

FINALLY !  LRBM 2012 was done ! *pheew. Last few months I had busy with preparation for the LRBM 2012. LRBM stands for Lomba Rancang Busana Muslimah 2012. I was selected as one of finalist since March or May this year. I am one of the top 15 finalists. This event is actually composed of several series of events from consultation with juries and stuff. I didn't post any update related to this event cause honestly there're like few times I intended to quit. because this-is-hard. Other finalists have great talent, amazing years of experience and education and even knowledge about fashion and the business. And me ? I'm just a last year college student who study communication since sophomore and I can't even sew my own button how could I be a designer only for few weeks ! I am not even that close to fashionista. I wear jeans, shirts and blazer most of the time and I hated make up, they make me feel itchy. But I just gotta do what i had to do. I may be everything I even a quitter sometimes but not this time. Only for few months I was trying to catch up, browsing through internet buying some books-magazine, who's in right now, what's in and what's out. Learning about fabric, There were no week I had spent without at least once or twice going to the fabric stores and acc stores. I never knew before learning process could be that exausting and fun.

Among the process, my best friends and boyfriend, helps me so much. My boyfriend may be the most second exausted person these few months. He has a big heart and patience and time for me. He's everything. love. And my best friends, they may the only group of people who believe in me while others dont, even myself. They would spent hours listening me stressing out about everything and they just listen, they're amazing. I don't have that much best friends or true friends but they're priceless to me. Also my friends they sent me luck wishes and It feels great and I feel blessed.

So long-short story the show for the Grand final was held at Gandaria City Jakarta as one of the fashion show represented by IIFF (Indonesia Islamic Fashion Festival). Do you ever heard the hijabers or hijabistas ? It's like the nest. So as I told you before I was the only rookie among the 15 people and that made everything excites me-everything !. The show was started 2 pm but the designers already there since 8 in the morning. And I was the second arrived, everybody was late. That morning the designers met the models. Subhanallah, they were impossibly gorgeous and skinny and tall. I was stunned. I didn't know they would pick the model agent looked that pretty. GR started around nine. And the fitting began. This is my first show ever and i dont even know they will be another second, but what most excites me was the backstage part of the show. The hectic atmosphere, the make up artist-the hijab stylist-the designers-the models- It was unbelievable. It was not that big but It was my first-ever-cause I am a no one so this is special. When the show starts, the light was on, the music starts, the models walked the runway with your clothes- It was amazing. Undescribable feeling. Blessed all the professionals who gets to do this every month.

For the backstage, designers were asked to prepared photos of the total look and detail of acc and hijab. Everybody turned out to make a very simple photos. I was so excited I even made my own hijab tutorial. That's okay ! cause I'm pretty happy with the result. First I wanna show you the designs. These are the first design which got me through into 15 finalists. My theme was GREEK INSPIRED.

These are the hijab tutorial I made for hijab stylist who worked in the backstage. The hijab was so simple as simple as who I really am. - -

Photographer : papa

Editing : me

These are the final designs for the show

And these are the final result, I am so FAR from model. so pardon my....everything in these photos *ugh. 

I know I made some weird poses. Papa and my sister kept telling me how I was supposed to pose like It's so easy. It's not easy.

I don't have the runway photos-yet. I'm still waiting from the NooR magazine and documentation from other finalist and friends. That's why I hope there's gonna be a second part-soon. 

I remember how horrible last Ramadhan was, I remember how crushing down I was. And to be where I am now, who I am with, this year, It's unbelievable. And I wish there are more great news to come, like graduation :)

woman-men-money

Hello, The Holy Month of Ramadhan ! this is maybe the most special year consider what I had gone through few years back then. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. So much blessing and countless gift I have received.

Few days ago I bumped into an old friend, we usually dont talk much but you know-girrllllssss- you could be months not talking then you two end up talking about men for hours. Men is a universal topic. And I hate talking about my thesis and bla bla bla, talking about men giving me more fun lol. What’s interesting is the way she opened the conversation by talking,

“ What such a bullshit that society wants men to be in higher level to woman”.

Anyway she’s a muslim, her hijab falling down cover her bust and she is more knowledgable about islam than I do. In my mind, I instantly connected her statement to muslim stereotype or what written in Holy Quran and hadits. And abviously she just broke that stereotype hehe.

She said she wants a man who will find it okay if she works 9 to 5 and making her own income. So my question was, “Do you find it okay if your man making less income than you do?”, she said,”No, that’s why I’m looking for a man with higher career level so he can make more money” . There are so many high-educated woman nowadays so I personally find it normal if a woman refuse their years of studying going to waste. That why I see there’s a challenge for these well-educated woman to put respect to their husband once they get marry cause woman think that man should always be try harder.

She wants a husband who makes more money than she is-plus-she wont taking any order from her husband cause she wants to be on the same level with him. Then she asked me (btw I made lots of confused expression),

“Oh, C’mon bil. Lets just be realistic, who doesnt not want to marry a guy with money, right ? Don’t you ever get tempted by that?”

She gave me the confused look or like ‘ah really’ look to respond my answer. I maybe gave her the answer she didn’t really wanna hear. I dont really think that woman have to be in lower level to men cause I think in some of condition, that doesnt really work today. But I do believe that a wife should be in under level than her husband. That’s how I raised. And my dad always tell me how i should serve and put respect to my future husband no matter how high my education title is. It is my personal believe and my parents principal so I try to manage that. But I told her, that is right-any woman wants to find a job, get a carrier, buy her own stuff, or maybe back to school again- I do want that. But I dont want to be the worst housewife and let my babysitter to be the mother of my own children. So my princple is just go with the flow but stick into what I plan for my life but when the qadar comes, I have to serve my husband and letting go some of the plan. The point is what I’m trying to say, don't get marry if you're not ready. Cause my dad told me that once I get marry I dont live for myself anymore. I will live for someone else and live based on someone else approval and needs. And I think It’s not always a bad thing. Marriage is a beautiful thing cause it will lead you to so many blessing ahead. It’s just I dont wanna screw things up.

Along the conversation about an ideal men from her standpoint, I asked her so many questions out of curiosity. Cause you know Its rare to find young men who have the faith and the wealth in one package. She said she used to search for a guy who has pontential to be rich, but all she she wants now  is the really wealthy one. And of course she asked what about me. Again, I told her that my parents were starting from zero. The first time my dad proposed to my mom, he’s still in college and didnt have a job. But my mom approved him based on my dad’s faith.

“Kalau menikah berdasarkan tahta, kita gak akan mendapatkan semuanya. 

Tapi kalo kita menikah berdasarkan iman, Allah bakal ngasih semuanya” -papa

And It is approved ! my parents have children, their own house, and they still madly in love until this day. What I love about them, they’re like best friends. They started since zero. They didn’t have money. My dad search for a job in such young age to support the family. My mom helping by anything she could do, selling snacks, cookies and everything. She didn’t have the marriage ring cause my dad couldn’t afford it. And now I have more that any girl could wish for alhamdulillah. But still-my parents case is really rare. But I told her my parents is a living proof, maybe I could do the same. Marrying my best friend, and seeing him based on his faith. I know sounds like a fairytale but I believe what God promises. Me and my friend agree that the case is really rare and my parents are the lucky one. We just never know. But I just stick into with what the way I raise. I love talking with a person who has defferent standpoint and find there’s nothing wrong with different state of mind.

And what I love about her, she’s honest. She’s honest about this whole -woman-men-money thingy. Cause its not easy for woman to talk about what they really want in a man, while the truth is they just want living a nice life after the marriage. It’s principal. I find it nothing wrong in any of those options. Who doesnt want that ?

But !

Like my dad said if i marry based on faith, then I get everything, don’t you ever get tempted by that ? :p

xoxo,

twenty second

I'M TWENTY second~ ! last month 19th !

*anyway pardon about the wrong grammar. its supposed to be TWENTY SECOND but I wrote it twenty two with-th. Can't do any correction cause no one using photoshop prog at home.

this is outdated post,freaking late i know but I'm super excited. Normally I'm not a really birthday kinna girl. But this year is special. At first I wasn't even thinking about celebrating cause I never do that and I think It's overrated. I never throw a birthday party and still I won't. Cause in my religion and the way I raise, we just dont celebrate a birthday. It's the day we should be grateful and- mourn cause we lost another year to live and we got closer to death. My partner and I decided not to throw any party or even dinner in 19th May. Actually I just wanna be at home in my birthday this year. I just realized I didn't at home in my birthday last year-and another last year-okay, I didn't at home for my birthday three times in a row. But I always went home after few days of my birthday. I know I might be not a perfect daughter *sigh*. So ! few days before D-day, my partner surprised me with a little cake and a box of present in front of my door. He said It wasn't really my birthday so It's allowed. He's smart ! and He got me a night lamp, which I LOOOVE ! when you turn on the lamp you can see blue ocean wave in my wall moving- It's so cool ! and It's also a speaker ! God, I love presents, who doesn't ?

As I planned,I was homed in my birthday. And It turned out to be the best day evah. My family decided to eating out. It's rare. In my family, we're pretty much close but we don't do holiday. My parents not really into travelling, actually I do. But my parents never allow me cause they think this world full of rapist and It's a dangerous world out there. I know the world outside the door sounds creepy but we don't do outing much, so when we really hanging out, I really appreciate the chance. Tadaa I took some pictures, unfortunately no one could take my photo without getting blur so I don't have a nice picture of myself to show. :|

first my parents took me and my sister went lunch !

 aren't they lovely ? :3

then I got a surprise visit ! *love *love *love

so much love for my parents, sister, mas dimas (ilysm btw :3) meyya, madel, momon, ayu, mas adit, and for those ho couldn't come saski and nisa, thank you :*

Singing In The Rain

Helooooo..

It's raining outside, I looove rain. I love the smell, I love the brezee. I love rain-when I'm not outside of course :p. I was listening to jammie cullum- singing in the rain. It was so sudden reaction-oh its raning-then suddenly I was singing 'singing in the rain' in my room. I already set the perfect mood so I grabbed my sketch book then taraaa~

Its captured in my terrace room. I love terrace <3

So how was it ? I did make a progress aight ? :3

I'm not a singer-obviously-but sometimes I do sing like normal people do. I love chanting actually while I'm driving my motorcycle. I have terrible-terrible-terrible voice. Still I love to sing to myself. I'm singiiiiing~ in the raain~..

"I'm singing in the rain"

Jammie Cullum

I'm singing in the rain

Just singing in the rain

What a glorious feeling

I'm happy again

I'm laughing at clouds

So dark up above

The sun's in my heart

And I'm ready for love

For love

Let the stormy clouds chase

Everyone from the place

Come on with the rain

I've a smile on my face

I'll walk down the lane

With a happy refrain

Singing, singing in the rain

In the rain.

La...

I'm singing in the rain

Just singing in the rain

What a glorious feeling

I'm happy again

I walk down the lane

With a happy refrain

I'm singing, singing in the rain

In the rain

In the rain

Even the lyric fits my mood perfectly !

oh btw omorrow is gonna be an important day for Sobu. I'll update the news later yeay !

have a nice afternoon, 

xoxo

Every Master Once a Rookie

Hai !

Its been a really really long time since the last post. This semester is pretty rough not that I take so many classes, no, Its the thesis that I've been working on take almost all of my attention nowadays. There's also another reason why I barely blogging, cause I feel like I dont have anything good enough to post. Not everyone knows but I'm kinna in the middle of a competition right now, It's a design contest and I'm one of the finalist. What frustrating is the fact that among all the 15 finalist, I'm the only one who doesn't have the fashion background, either based on experience or education. Well-I-suck ! (at first I thought that). Then I rearrange my state of mind, everytime I walk to that door I always whisper to myself, "You're here to LEARN not to win anything" and that makes me feel a lot better. Why don't you try ? Everytime you walk into situation out of your comfort zone, try REARRANGE your intention like I always do- I AM HERE TO LEARN ! :)

That intention almost crushed down by few comments which really stressed me out. Some other finalists were complementing my designs and almost all of em gave the same comment, "Your design is so cute" "Your design look like a cartoon, Its soo cute !". I know they meant well but what bringing down after I noticed everyone's design are soooo good, really like a professional designer doing sketches, they look high fashion and I ! - my drawing like Brats (you know the barbie girl cartoon) playing dress up ! not high fashion-at-all. Those comments really affected me for few weeks but i don't stop drawing and sketching. And in this post I wanna show you (faceless people on internet who maybe never exist cause no one's gonna read this) the progress I've made for these couple of weeks. Actually i did so many sketches for practice, some are bad, some are really bad, some are-let's just say-unfinished-cause I already hate the sketch before It even finished.

See ? I was no good. It was really bringing me down and I almost gave up. Everytime I draw some designs, I hate em cause I don't see myself in there. I know It sounds silly, but I just not being myself. I used to enjoy drawing and do sketches because I don't think ! The whole thinking process while I'm drawing-I hated it ! So I did this drawing-back on abstract cause I know I don't think when I'm drawing abstract sketches.

 So here it is.

It made me feel a lil better, then It crossed my mind why wouldn't I draw some design with abstract element in there ?

still.. not satisfied enough

Then I drawing some more more and more. I read again on and on pages to pages just to learn how to get a good proportion. I realize even if It's not me, still I have to learn back to basic then I can find what's my signature. Then I remember those times when I doing abstract sketches back then, I draw better when I feel overwhelmed emotion like sad or depressed. So I listen to one song, repeat mode, one song which remind how angry I was. The song was Adele-rumor has it- remix version for runaway.

I'm getting better right ? :D nooot- not satisfied-enough

I still have to learn proper human proportion and face. 

So I try to learn draw faces and get rid of the cartoon image for God's sake !

And.. this is what I drew just yesterday.

Not bad, ight ? I know I'm no good but I always love to learn. I realize that the second you notice that learning process is the key. I love drawing no matter what people say. people's comment are matter but what's more matter is I'm doing what I love. I love learn marketing, I love fashion ! , I love reading magazine. love love love

and these are my babies :3

My Dad always say that "You will never lose anything by buying books", "You're never good enough so study ! open books ! read newspaper, read magazine/ Although you can find everything by online nowadays but there's nothing like real books". So these few months I have new fav, my magz and book. These are some of em. I don't have much cause It's not that cheap - -"

two of my fav are AMICA and DEWI special edition. I bought DEWI in flea market, so I got really really low price and I LOVE it !

So there you go. Be kind with this post I still got to learn- A LOT.

Thank you,

xoxo